In Memory of You Baby Girl: Lovely Matsy Grace

Forty One months had passed since we began the adoption journey. We finally got "the call." It's the call you wait for. It's the start to "the real wait" of bringing your child to their forever family. You dream up how it will go, and though it's rarely the scenario you thought-- it's perfect. It's perfect because it's your child.

That call for us happened June 16. I thought we would wait and tell our families, but we were both too ecstatic. FaceTime sufficed to share the news. A few days later, we shared it on our blog. It was perfect-- the real wait finally had a face. 

She was beautiful. She had big brown eyes and thick hair. Her name was "Lovely." We planned to call her "Matsy Grace." In his prayers, Noah called her "Lovely Matsy Grace." We knew it was a long shot, but we were praying she would be home for the holidays. 

The days that followed were very strange because the weight of  thinking of her birth parents, her less than ideal situation in her orphanage in Bihar, India, and just the whole adoption process in general set in. The first few nights were pretty restless. We continued with loads of paperwork daily. Once you can look at her face, it makes the paperwork a little easier. 

On July 3, our agency's in country rep sent a few videos of our daughter. We immediately realized her health was a lot poorer than we originally thought. We began trying to determine how to get her the best healthcare possible when she got home. 

On July 4, my mommy heart thought ok, what can we do? I knew it was a long shot, but surely Patna, Bihar needed English speaking Speech Therapists. When not a single job could be found, I knew we probably had no way to go help her immediately. Besides the fact that we still were a few steps away from having the document we needed to be able to see her. This was also an American holiday, so our agency's office was closed. 

On July 5, our agency's director so kindly called and walked me through her medical exam. It wasn't what any parent wants to see a child face, but we didn't exactly realize the severity of it either. Unfortunately, I don't think they did either. 

Our director called back around 30 minutes later very upset. His words "I have the worst news. She didn't make it" were to follow. Within a short bit, we received her death information from the hospital. 

All of this happened while I was at work. I'm grateful for awesome co-workers. They surrounded me and loved on me until I could get home and begin grieving with our family. The next few days were very emotional for our family. It's definitely not how we planned our adoption journey to play out. We never wanted to tell our boys that they will never play with the sister they talk about and pray for constantly.

While we have complete peace that our Lovely Matsy Grace now has the home we could have never provided, we have experienced the pain of a child passing from this earth never getting to experience the love of a family. 

God blessed us with the most beautiful family and friends. They helped us pull together a memorial celebration for the NEW LIFE of our Lovely Matsy Grace. My parents bought a tree and perfect stone for us to plant at their home in Mississippi. We released balloons in the colors we had planned to decorate her room and shared a meal together. My husband struggled through his words and my oldest son said the most beautiful prayer. It was a precious time. A life should never be gone from this earth without being celebrated, so even if it was from half way around the globe, her life did not go unnoticed. Surrounded by our family and a precious surprise from our sweet friends, we chose to celebrate the hope we have when we all pass from this temporary home.

 

And I don't think the day could have ended any more beautifully... 

So.. Where do we go from here? We continue to wait for another referral. While we in no way want to forget our Lovely Matsy Grace, we are more motivated than ever to adopt and be a forever family to our next child. While we hope that will come sooner than later, international adoption is international adoption and you know that God doesn't always write our story in the ways we plan. So, we are choosing joy today and trusting that God is continuing to write our story! 

It Takes a Village

Well, it's 16 days since we saw our daughter's face for the first time! We've been deep in paperwork and are currently waiting {completely impatiently... I'm not even going to lie about how many times I've checked my email} for her full medical examination that comes with more pictures and videos of our girl!!

As exciting as this time is of preparing for her arrival, there are multiple nights I haven't been able to sleep since her referral thinking about what she's doing at those very moments in an orphanage 10.5 hours ahead of our time zone, thinking about her biological parents, and dreaming about having her home as quickly as possible.

We haven't done any fundraisers in a while and had continued to save. We were really hopeful that we were fully funded to complete this adoption. Unfortunately, the fees in India are a little more expensive than Ethiopia and the travel time is longer. So... We have 2 fundraisers coming up!! God has used the most precious people to help us financially along this journey. They have come in the form of small amounts and HUGE amounts! We will never be able to thank you all enough. It's amazing how much less stressful the financial aspect of adoption has become since we have seen her face. I have confidence that God is going to provide just what we need to

We had so much fun over the past few years with LOTS of LOVEethiopia t-shirt orders! We are so grateful for those t-shirts!! We shipped to 48 states!! We are excited to introduce our first fundraiser... T-shirts!!

Details:

- We will be taking preorders until July 13!! The shirts are Comfort Colors Pocket Tees. The front says the word "chosen" next to India and the back says "It Takes a Village." We couldn't come up with truer phrases for our journey to our girl!!

- you can buy at this link: http://heswritingourstory.bigcartel.com/

- SHIRTS are $20. {$22 for XXL & XXXL. 3XL is the largest size.} SHIPPING is $4.

- Colors are PERIWINKLE & CHALKY MINT

- You can pay via the PAYPAL link on the side of this page {Make sure you leave your size and color preference!!} OR you can send me your e-mail with size & t-shirt preference and I will send you an invoice via e-mail! ALL INVOICES SHOULD BE PAID BY JULY 13 FOR SHIRTS TO BE ORDERED!

- You can send a check to 345 Westwood Ave., Jackson, TN 38301. Must be received by JULY 13 for order to be placed!

- Shirt will be in around 10 BUSINESS days after order is placed!!

We are so grateful for all the prayers, financial support, and help throughout the last 41 months! We don't know exactly when our girl will be home. We are praying hard that she will be home by the holidays! It's going to take a lot of prayers and a LOT of paperwork miracles, so please join us in praying her home for the holidays!!

Blessings!

Our Story He is Writing..

40 months ago, we sent off our initial application to begin the process of adopting a little girl-- our Matsy Grace-- from Ethiopia. We could not WAIT! We were 7 months pregnant and had a 1 year old. We would sit around and watch "Gotcha Day" videos and dream of life with 3 kids.

Fast forward over three years. We no longer watch "Gotcha Day" videos. We pray for our child, but rarely bring up our adoption in conversation. With every passing month, we realize that our dream of bringing home a child through adoption hasn't happened. We are a little more aware of the difficulty that adopting parents and adopted children go through. We see first hand the ways the system is broken.. ultimately because we live in a broken world.

Our story hasn't been written the way we would have planned. God has written it in ways we would have never imagined. We've experienced heartache, moves, pain, loss. For multiple reasons, we've been treading through the waters of the hardest season of our life.

Through every turn, we've been asked the same questions--- Are you are still adopting?... When are you bringing your child home?... What's the update with your adoption?

When you've waited 40 months, the questions become just a little more painful. They are just a little deeper reminder that your child is still not home. We thought we would be home in 18-24 months from the beginning. Who knew that 40 months in, we would have still never seen the face of our child.


So... Ethiopia adoption. Since we began, things have been steadily slowing. First the wait for a referral. Now there's not only significantly increased wait for referral, but also post referral. We are praying with our Ethiopian adoption community as it is taking 12-24 months to bring these babies home after their referrals.

Knowing this has been the pattern and not seeing any reversal in the pattern at this point, we made a decision a few months ago to purse an adoption from INDIA! We didn't tell anyone because honestly, we still didn't know anything. We still couldn't answer any questions...And we still had a lot to learn! After all the ways we had fallen in love with Ethiopia, we knew that God could still lead us down new paths that may not look as we had planned.

The process in India looks TOTALLY different than the process in Ethiopia. We chose India because their government put several laws into practice last year that have lead to more ethical and timely adoptions. We began the paperwork process and just got *cautiously* excited.

There are 2 ways to receive referrals in India. One way is through CARA, their government agency that issues referrals. They typically provide 2 referrals and the family choses 1. Another is through CARINGS, in which special needs children can be reviewed and accepted as referrals. We decided that we were open to minor special needs and would wait for a referral for CARA, but would also review any children provided to us from CARINGS. We knew a referral from CARINGS could come at any point.

Well, last week started out rough. Last Monday was one of those days that you want to just push the re-do button and hope things turn out differently. So.. once again, God hasn't written our story the way we thought it would be written. In these times, we trust God is sovereign and choose to remain faithful, even though our flesh still feels pain.

When Thursday rolled around, it was time to regroup. We planned individual date nights with our kids. I had planned to wear a dress and let my 4 year old take me on a real "dinner" date. So.. I begin getting dressed. I put on a dress, walked out of the closet and my son said, "Mommy, you look like a princess! You're beautiful!" It wasn't that I at all looked like a princess, but it was the sweetest reminder in a hard place that I am still loved. And God still looks down on us with favor, even when our story isn't written the way we planned.

I'm finishing getting dressed and my phone rings. Everyone is just running around the house. My husband is giving Noah all the tips about how to treat a girl on a date and slipping a $20 in his pocket to pay for my dinner. Micah is excited about a bowling outing with his daddy. I ignore the call. I'm passing by my phone when I get a text message from a lady that works with our adoption agency saying "Call me ASAP."

When I call her she answers the phone with, "Have you checked your e-mail in the last couple of minutes?" I said "no."

The words came out quickly..."Go check it. You have a REFERRAL!!"

WHAT?!?!?

I immediately started crying and called my husband in the room! He said "Where are they from!?" Since the sweet woman who called me typically works with the Ethiopia program (and as I couldn't get the attachments open fast enough), I said "I bet it's an Ethiopian BOY!"

Well.... it was a BEAUTIFUL little 13 month old GIRL from Bihar, India!!!

I wish I could share the sweetness of her eyes with you all!

{After the shock and tears, we continued with our dates and celebrated our sweet daughter! Noah decided she was a great excuse to treat me to ice cream after dinner, too! }

So what now?... we now begin a whole lot of paperwork to get this girl home to us! I don't know the timeline at this point. I hope to get better at updating our blog to keep you all updated on specific timelines and prayer requests.

We need 1 thing from you all...  A LOT OF PRAYER for things to go seamlessly to get this sweet girl home to us ASAP! In the meantime, we will be learning about Indian culture, catching up on adoption books and trying to prepare our boys for a little softer, more feminine side to our home. :) 

Thank you for all the prayers for the last 40 months! We can't wait to have our girl home and officially become a family of 5!!!

And yes... God is STILL writing our story!

A Night in Ethiopia SUCCESS!

6 days ago, we had our largest fundraiser yet. I wish I could say this all makes sense and that I understand the way the Lord provides. Even more so, I wish I could say I always believe the Lord will provide.

We've never been unable to pay an adoption fee. If you know and understand some of these fee amounts, you know that this is miraculous in and of itself.

With all that being said, we've spent the last week in shock at the way the Lord provides!!

Our day started EARLY EARLY EARLY with icing and bagging Africa shaped cookies! From there, the decorations at The Barn at Snider Farms began. Within 5 minutes of walking into the Barn, my husband FaceTimed me. Since he had been sick the previous 24 hours and had gone to the doctor that morning to get a shot, I assumed he would be calling me from the bed saying he wasn't going to work. BUT... of course, God knew that I needed a reminder that He provides more than we could ask or imagine. So... the call began with a picture of a check. Unknown to the ones who wrote this overly generous check, it was EXACTLY the amount of our next fee...for our referral!!! At that point, I knew that all the doubt and fear I had experienced over the prior 6 weeks were straight from Satan. God had this night in His control and would provide MORE than we could ask or imagine!!

So... the day went on and thanks to my parents, my sister and my precious friends Miriam and Melody, we had such a fun day prepping knowing that God was in control.

Ok.. get ready for picture overload. The evening was beautiful....

Well... there's the night in pictures. It couldn't have been more perfect. It was SUCH a special night spent with special friends and we even got to meet a few new friends!!

Now... you've all been waiting..... Drumroll please............. Over the course of the day and night, we raised a total of MORE THAN

$7,600!!!!!!!

If you understood the amount of time we've spent over the past 2 years trying to figure out how in the world we would save/raise the funds to bring our child home and how many small fundraisers we have had, you would know that this amount was only provided because of God!! 

You see, there's one thing that our family understands. Not a single person has to donate a single dollar to our adoption. No one is required to give us anything. Every time a new donation comes in or every time we complete a fundraiser, I'm just blown away at how generous people are. Seriously!! God has done so much refining in me on this journey. I never knew my heart was filled with so much fear and doubt. He has slowly {and it's STILL a work in progress} chiseled away at the fear, doubt and pride that has filled my heart and replaced them with a content heart knowing that I am not in control of any of this!

So... In my book, A Night in Ethiopia was a success!! There are A LOT of people that made this night possible!! My parents, my mother in law, my sister, Mark and Melody Benton, Miriam Parrish, Karl and Angela Snider, Bryan and Bethany Welborn, Rheagan Lovelace... We are more than grateful for all your work to make our fundraiser possible! AND... to all our donors, we can't tell you how you have blessed us! God has been so faithful and used each of you in beautiful ways! 

{Exhausted from the past week Frozen Yogurt trip with the Grandparents! Excuse the fact that Noah is picking his nose!}

SURPRISE!! AN EXCITING TURN IN OUR JOURNEY!!

I'll make you read the details prior to the exciting announcement!!

When we started this journey, we had an 11 month old baby boy and were 4 months away from giving birth to our second boy. Since we knew we would have boys, we decided we would proceed with our adoption with preference for a girl. We had already decided long ago that our first daughter's name would be Matsy Grace (with namesake to a MiMi named Matsy that is just precious!)

Well.. Twenty Six months past that initial application, our agency is giving very few referrals for girls. The wait is significantly longer for girls. And so... we prayed what that meant for our family. We prayed if we were specifically called to wait it out for a girl, God would reveal that to us. He revealed to us this... We didn't get to pick the gender of our bio babies. We have two rowdy little brothers who would LOVE a baby brother. We would save a significant amount of money due to our house already being full of all things BOY!

So through A LOT of prayer... WE ARE EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE that a few weeks ago we opened our adoption to EITHER GENDER!!

 

THAT'S RIGHT! If we have a boy, we will call him JUDAH!!

So what does that mean for a little girl named Matsy Grace? Well, we could still technically get a referral for a girl! If we receive a referral for a boy, we would still love to have a Matsy Grace one day, but we'll leave that up to God!

For now, we are excited at the thought of our boys having a brother! The thought of another boy getting to share in our boys' special bond of brotherhood makes my heart all mushy! The boys have been extra excited! We were driving down the road yesterday and Noah out of the blue said, "I'm ready for my brudder to come home. I'm gonna give him hugs and smooches, Mommy!" Boy or girl, they'll be great siblings!

So... there it is. The reality of the real push for our NIGHT IN ETHIOPIA fundraiser is that this process may go a (little) faster than we had initially thought. IF current patterns stand, we COULD have a referral by fall/end of the year! There's obviously never any guarantees with international adoption, but that's what current time frames and others with our agency would estimate.

We would LOVE for you to join us in prayer for our child. For our fundraiser. For our boys to understand all of this. For Judah or Matsy Grace to be protected from harm and endure as little trauma as possible. For our child's biological parents to be find hope in the Lord. For us to have patience and wisdom as parents.

A Night in Ethiopia

For the last 25 months, we have dreamed of having a BIG fundraiser!! We've had several smaller fundraisers.. which have been BEYOND a blessing.. but with the fees associated with adoption, there is no way we can financially fund our whole adoption (more on this in a minute). SO... We are hosting "A NIGHT IN ETHIOPIA" dinner, silent auction AND more on June 1 at the Barn at Snider Farms just outside of Jackson, TN. (Tickets Here!!)

Since there's probably a lot of questions, I'll try to clear up as many as I can! 

What should I expect the night of June 1? 

We will have a traditional Ethiopian dinner complete with traditional decorations and of course, COFFEE!! There will also be Ethiopian coffee, Ethiopian jewelry and scarves, kids books, LOVEethiopia Comfort Colors shirts, Noonday, and more for sale with proceeds going towards our adoption! 

Where do I purchase tickets?

http://powelladoption.ticketleap.com/a-night-in-ethiopia/ is the site we have chosen! Get your tickets early!! 

Can I bring my kids? 

Sure! You are welcome to bring kids! There are tickets available for kids at a discounted rate! Or.. get a sitter and enjoy a child free Ethiopian dinner! 

Where is the event? 

The Barn at Snider Farms is one of the most beautiful venues in the South! Karl and Angela Snider have a beautiful story with this Barn, but I'll tell you this... the night would be worth it to come hang out at this perfect place without the traditional ET dinner! So come join us! (Google Map Location)

Why are you having a BIG fundraiser? 

Due to many variables, we don't know an exact figure on our adoption. However, we have a good idea (barring any major unforseen obstacles) of the amount we need to save/raise. So.. as much as I hate sharing (and facing) the figures, I'll try my best to explain. First, what have we already spent on our adoption? We have spent around $16,250 on application fees, program fees, international fees, government fingerprinting, county certifications, state authentications, translation fees, home study review fees and our home study. While that number is SO overwhelming to look at, it is a testimony to how God has blessed this journey! I would have never imagined that God would provided exactly what we need to meet every single fee. God has truly used His people to bring our baby home!! 

So.. what's next? What else could we possibly need to pay for?! (No worries, I ask these questions often myself!!) When we accept a referral, we will owe a $4,240 referral fee. After that, there will be various fees including monthly foster home fees (starting once our child leaves the orphanage), medical fees, updating documents, updating home study, finder fees, and the big one...travel...for two trips for two people! So.. we probably still have a little more to pay than we have already paid. The range from people who have recently adopted is from $29K-$44K. So.. we are choosing to trust God that He will provide!! 

What if I want to donate to the silent auction? 

If you have a talent, a skill, or anything else you would like to donate, please feel free to e-mail me at tiffanipowell7@yahoo.com!! 

What time should I be there? 

"A Night in Ethiopia" begins at 6 p.m.

So... Now that I hope all I have answered all the questions, we really hope you will join us!! God has already been working BIG time and has His hand all in this event!! I wish I had the time to tell you all the God stories that have already happened!! He is such a gracious God! 

If I'm being honest, Satan has been attacking me BIG time regarding this fundraiser! Smaller fundraisers are awesome. But if they flop, they flop. I'm having to rely on the Lord to make this one happen! And it is HARD! Satan tells me that I've only lived in our city for a little over a year and this is crazy. Satan tells me no one will come. Satan tells me that we will never be able to fund this adoption. 

God tells me to walk by faith and not by sight. God tells me that He will use this work for GOOD if I stay faithful, being called according to His purpose. God tells me to quit relying on myself and to lean in to HIS promises!! 

I can't wait to see what God has planned for "A Night in Ethiopia" and how it blesses a lifetime with our child!! 

We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9